Will Biden start World War Three? Or Has It Already Started?

To be fair, Oprah Winfrey warned us. If Kamala Harris loses the presidential election, she said, "it is entirely possible that we will not have the opportunity to ever cast a ballot again."

Like millions of Americans, I misinterpreted Oprah's dire prediction. I thought she was saying that if Trump is elected President, he will destroy American democracy.

Now, I think Oprah may have been warning us that if the Democrats lose to Trump, President Biden will start World War III.

That certainly looks like what Biden is trying to do by unleashing the Ukrainians to fire American-made long-range missiles into Russia. President Vladimir Putin has repeatedly warned that he might launch a nuclear response if Ukraine attacks the Russian Motherland with US or NATO missiles.

Indeed, Jamie Dimon, CEO of Chase Bank, said last month that "World War III has already begun."

Dimon pointed out that we "already have battles on the ground being coordinated in multiple countries." The North Koreans have joined Russia in fighting Ukraine, and Iran is making drones for the Russians. It seems increasingly likely that Belarus will get sucked into the maelstrom of global war.

What the hell are we doing? Why isn't Vice President Kamala Harris invoking the 25th Amendment to wrest control of the government from Biden, who is in severe cognitive decline? Why hasn't Congress begun impeachment proceedings to stop Biden from escalating the Ukrainian conflict?

It's time to take old Joe's car keys and return him to Delaware. And let's find out who in our government goaded Biden into stupidly escalating this senseless war. Those individuals need to be sent back to Martha's Vineyard.

World War III may be coming to your neighborhood
Photo credit: NY Times

Biden Okays Long-Range Missile Strikes Into Russia. It's Time to Invoke the 25th Amendment

 Russia's war with Ukraine has slogged along for more than a thousand days--longer than the Nazi siege of Leningrad during World War II.  Russia suffered approximately 1.5 million casualties during the Leningrad battle, including about a million people who died of starvation. 

How many people have died so far in the Ukraine war? No one can say for sure because everyone is lying, but a fair estimate is one million dead or wounded. In addition,  the war has displaced about one-third of Ukraine's civilian population.

This is Joe Biden's war; he has sent enough weapons and ammunition to keep it crackling merrily for nearly three years. Ukraine's President Zelensky—the little guy who wears pajamas when he speaks before Congress—claims his country can defeat the Russians if the U.S. supplies it with high-tech weapons, and Biden has obliged.

So far, our government has given Zelensky Abrams tanks, Bradley Fighting Vehicles, cluster bombs, Uranium-tip missiles, Javelin missile systems, and F-16 fighter jets. 

Yet the Russians keep pushing, and North Korea recently joined the fight.

 Everyone knows the Ukrainians can't defeat Russia and that peace can only be achieved through territorial concessions. Does anyone believe the Zelensky regime will reclaim Crimea or the Donbas?

Now Biden's demented days are numbered. Donald Trump will take office in January, and he has promised to bring the Ukraine war to an end. 

So, what does Biden do during the waning days of his administration? He gives Ukraine permission to strike Russia with US-made long-range missiles. 

Vladimir Putin has warned that this escalation could trigger a nuclear war, but apparently, no one in the Biden administration believes him.

In my view, Biden's decision to allow Ukraine to launch long-range American missiles into Russia is insane. The doddering fool only has about 60 more days in office. That's plenty of time to impeach him or invoke the 25th Amendment.

Photo credit: The Economist

Unemployed Lawfaw Attorneys To Staff New Alaska Law School. Letitia James to be VP for DEI?

Paul Krugman, Nobel Prize-winning economist, warned that Donald Trump's victory over Kamala Harris could trigger "economic chaos."

In particular, Trump's election severely shocked the legal industry as hundreds of Lawfare attorneys lost their jobs. Speaking anonymously because of the topic's sensitivity,  one economist estimates that Lawfare generated a substantial percentage of the nation's GNP last year because thousands of Ivy League attorneys were suing or prosecuting Donald Trump.

 "Donald Trump's election throws all those lawyers out of work," the economist apprised. "Also, high-end restaurants in New York and Washington DC will likely lose a quarter of their business."

 Jack Smith, who was prosecuting Trump in the District of Columbia, will probably quit before Trump fires him. The House Judiciary Committee accused Alvin Bragg of violating Trump's constitutional rights. Marc Elias, an expert in political campaign law, is reportedly devastated by the election outcome. Friends say Elias may be forced to euthanize Bode, his Portuguese Water Dog because Elias can no longer afford to feed his beloved pet.

Fortunately, Trump appointed me to his Executive Transition Team and charged me with designing a plan to minimize the economic disruption to the Lawfare industry. Here's my proposal.

Early next year, the federal government will create a new law school in Alaska, the only state without one. The new school will be located on the lovely Aleutian island of Adak, about 4500 miles from the nation's capital.

Out-of-work Lawfare lawyers will find the Adak climate agreeable.  The island seldom experiences freezing weather, and summer temperatures range as high as 51 degrees Fahrenheit in August.

In addition, Adak has a good transportation infrastructure. It offers once-a-week air service to the nearby island of Shemya and connecting flights to Vladivostok.

I will offer all unemployed Lawfare attorneys a tenured professor's position at the Adak School of Law. I've already contacted Jack Smith and offered him the Dean's position. I'm hoping Letitia James will agree to be the Vice President for Diversity, Equity and Bullshit Litigation. 

Under my proposed plan, I'll advise Trump to grant amnesty to every Lawfare lawyer who agrees to join the faculty at the Adak Law School. As for the attorneys who refuse, I think Trump should report them to the various bar associations for abusing the justice system to further political agendas.

The proposed site for  Adak Law School

Post-Election Violence in Baton Rouge? Should You Buy a Shotgun and a Case of Spam?

I received a message on my Nextdoor app inquiring about the possibility of post-election violence in Baton Rouge. "Does anyone know if there are safety precautions in place in case of a riot after the election?" the writer asked. "I don't anticipate a riot, but I keep hearing things that 'may' happen."

The writer's post indicated she (or he) lived in the Riverbend neighborhood, an affluent suburb located near LSU in the Mississippi River floodplain. I can't image election-triggered violence in Riverbend's quiet, leafy streets, and I initially thought the messenger intended to be humorous.

I was tempted to respond that the writer should drive to Academy Sporting Goods without delay and purchase a home-defense shotgun and 200 rounds of buckshot. Then, I would continue, she should make her way to Costco and buy a case of Spam, a fire extinguisher, and at least four bottles of Makers Mark whisky—enough alcohol to make it through a couple of weeks of arson and rioting.

On reflection, however, I concluded that the messager was serious; she really wanted to know if municipal authorities were taking precautions in case Baton Rouge is engulfed by post-election rage.

So, here is my serious response. Baton Rouge has experienced some tense times recently with remarkable calm and civic dignity. The George Floyd killing sparked large-scale riots in several American cities, but not in Baton Rouge. The city's mayor and police chief responded calmly and sympathetically to race-charged events, and no one rioted.

Baton Rouge residents have legitimate things to worry about. The skyrocketing cost of property insurance may soon force people on fixed incomes out of their homes—particularly in flood-prone neighborhoods. Coastal erosion and environmental hazards are ongoing problems that Louisianians can't seem to solve, and our educational system has flaws everyone recognizes.

However, Baton Rouge residents will not riot due to the outcome of the presidential election. After all, this is a city of decent people with proper regard for law and order, for which we should all be grateful.

Not in Baton Rouge

Trump and Kamala Are Afflicted by Severe Communication Disorders

Our nation's presidential election is only a few days away, and Americans have concluded that both presidential candidates are afflicted with severe communication disorders. I'm not talking about foot-in-mouth disease. I'm talking about a profound inability to speak clearly.

Kamala Harris can't elucidate a clear, declarative sentence. She can't do it. Thus, she relies on teleprompters to give the deceptive impression that she knows what the hell she's talking about.

Her communication disorder is compounded by her compulsive urge to cackle when a reporter asks her a difficult question.

Trump speaks too long at public gatherings, tells bombastic tall tales, and gratuitously insults his political enemies if he thinks he can get a laugh.

Let's discuss Kamala first. She's actually bilingual.

Her mother tongue is woke-speak, a language that emerged from academia, where thousands of professors spend their lives conversing in an intentionally meaningless dialect. She also speaks standard English at a primitive level. She can make a bartender understand that she wants a glass of chardonnay, but she can't discuss foreign policy without lapsing into woke-speech.

Trump's disorder involves a disturbing tendency to express himself so poorly that the left-wing press can maliciously interpret his speech as racist, fascist, or even Hitlerian.

For instance, Trump intended for his astonishingly inappropriate criticism of Liz Cheney to make the reasonable observation that militaristic public leaders promote war because they themselves are not in harm's way. Unfortunately, he expressed himself in such a way that his adversaries claimed he was calling for Cheney's assassination.

Here's my take on the two candidates' linguistic disorders. Kamala speaks the way she does because she's unintelligent and has bullshitted her way through life, speaking gibberish (word salads). 

Trump's inability to speak succinctly, civilly, and prudently confounds me. I can't understand why he doesn't choose his words in such a way so as not to invite his enemies to take cheap shots at him.

If Kamala loses the election, I predict she will become president of Harvard University, where everybody converses in woke-speech and no one feels obligated to do useful work.

If Trump loses, he'll have to go into exile if the Supreme Court doesn't shut down the lawfare litigation against him. Ivy League attorneys, like Javert, the fanatical police inspector in Les Miserables, will not rest until they put Mr. Trump in prison. 

This malicious prosecution can only end in two ways. Trump will go to jail, or the lawyers who persecute him will be disbarred for abusing the law.

Me no speakee English

Mamas, Don't Let Your Cowboys Grow Up to be Babies: Willie Nelson Performs at a Kamala Harris Rally

 Kamala Harris held a rally in Houston over the weekend. Someone in the Harris camp promised an appearance by Beyonce, and thousands of Beyonce fans showed up in anticipation of a musical performance.

Beyonce did indeed appear briefly, but she didn't sing. Instead, the crowd heard Willie Nelson, the legendary country singer. Same difference, right?

Apparently not. Feeling victimized by a bait-and-switch, thousands of rally attendees booed Kamala when she appeared on stage to diffuse her politics of joy.

I love Willie Nelson. I am the last living fan to have attended his first 4th of July music festival in Dripping Springs, Texas, in 1973. I wore the grooves off my antique vinyl record of "The Red Headed Stranger" album. 

I sympathize with the Kamala supporters who were angered by the Beyonce debacle. If I had shown up to attend a Kamala rally expecting to hear Willie Nelson's golden voice, I would have been miffed to be treated to Beyonce instead. 

Nevertheless, what makes Kamala Harris think she can win votes by snagging celebrity endorsements? Who gives a shit about George Clooney's political stance, or an endorsement by Beyonce, Bruce Springsteen, or Julia Roberts? 

I'm casting my presidential vote based on global events. Which presidential candidate will help bring the Ukraine war to a close so my grandkids don't get drafted to fight in Eastern Europe? Which candidate will honor our nation's commitment to guarantee Israel's right to exist?

In these volatile times, when the world is on fire, Americans who cast their vote for Kamala Harris because a celebrity endorsed her are behaving like infants.

Let's grow up to be babies. Photo credit: Amazon.com

Wild Pigs Divert My Attention from LSU's Disastrous Loss to Texas A&M

It’s Saturday evening at Lake Mary, Mississippi, and my family has congregated around our big-screen TV to watch LSU play Texas A&M in College Station. It’s a big game: LSU is ranked Number 8 in the national polls, and the Aggies are rated Number 14. Neither team has lost a Southeast Conference game.

I am filled with a sense of well-being. Loved ones are gathered around me. Cold beer is in the refrigerator, and we have plenty of game-time snacks. I adjust my Lazy Boy recliner to a comfortable semi-prone position.

All goes well in the first half, and LSU shows good prospects of beating the insufferable Aggies. Then, my team falls apart. Three interceptions and three missed field goals attest to a Tiger meltdown. I prepare myself for a major case of the weekend blues. We’re running out of beer.

Then providence intervenes. The game camera affixed to a pecan tree alerts us to two feral hogs rooting about in our three-acre front yard. All distress about the ballgame vanishes, and two family members break out their rifles from our gun safe. Armed with a 30.06 and a 30-30, they creep down to my home’s ground level and start shooting.

Both pigs squeal and head for the brush. The smaller hog is mortally wounded but manages to travel about 50 yards before succumbing to her wounds. Two generations of family members with flashlights follow the blood trail and find the interloper. She is stone dead.

What to do with a dead feral hog? Family members truss it up to one of the steel girders that keep our living quarters above the annual spring flood waters. Then they field dress the pig, dividing it into hams, ribs, pork shoulders, and backstrap. 

The hog slayers ice down the meat in a large ice chest and call it a night. We learn that LSU lost to A &M by a score of 38-23, but nobody cares.

The next morning, I propose we take all the hog meat to a nearby game processing plant and turn it into pork chops, sausage, and dinner-size pork loins. I offer to foot the bill.

We vote, and everyone except me opts to process the hog on our kitchen counter. By two in the afternoon, our feral hog is parceled and tucked away in the freezer--about a hundred pounds of meat.

Feral hogs are a major nuisance in the rural South, where they tear up the landscape and destroy crops. People are allowed to hunt them year-around by day or night. 

Everyone I know who has eaten wild-pig meat tells me that the small porkers are delicious. Thus, I ended my weekend feeling good about my family's contribution to feral hog control. And I'm looking forward to eating a pig harvested in my own front yard.

Who cares who won the LSU-Texas A&M game?