90 Seconds Movie Review: Sisu is a Finnish Rambo Movie. What's Not To Like?

 Everyone loves an adventure movie about a heroic underdog who kills vicious Nazis in creative and unusual ways. I know I do. Nazi killing is the secret of success for the "Indiana Jones" movies, "Inglorious Bastards," and "Fury."

"Sisu," a Scandinavian movie, is a worthy addition to the Nazi-eradication niche of the Action movie genre. Sisu is a Finnish word roughly translated  as "strength of will, determination, perseverance, and acting rationally in the face of adversity."

The movie is a straightforward tale about a retired Finnish soldier who had served as a sniper in Finland's winter war against the Russians. The hero, Aatami Korpi, played by Jorma Tommila, lives a solitary life mining for gold in the Lapland region of Finland. 

Korpi finds a lot of gold, but unfortunately, he is discovered by Nazi soldiers retreating across Finland in the late stage of World War II. The Nazis steal Korpi's gold and try to kill him, but he thwarts them as the movie unfolds across the tundra. 

By the end of the movie, Korpi has dispatched all his Nazi adversaries and rescues a group of Finnish women whom the Nazis planned to exploit as sex slaves. 

Critics have generally reviewed Sisu favorably and compared it to Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns and Quinton Tarantino. I would describe the flick as a Finnish Rambo film.

Sisu does not pretend to be a cinematic work of art. However, I found the movie satisfying as I watched it on a lazy autumn afternoon. I recommend viewing it with an ice-cold light beer and a bowl of popcorn. You can find it on Netflix.

No worries: The guy with a knife in his brain is a Nazi.

90 Seconds Food Review: A Dummy’s Guide to Good Texas Barbecue Restaurants

 Most Texans love to eat barbecue, and barbecue restaurants are sprinkled throughout the Lone Star State. How do you choose a good one?

I’ve eaten in dozens of Texas  barbecue  restaurants, and when I’m scoping out a new barbecue joint, I look for three signs

Sign number one. Check out the parking lot. Pickup trucks should outnumber sedans by at least three to one. Most working people in Texas drive pickup trucks, and these folks know their barbecue.

Jim’s Barbecue in Waskom, Texas, is a good example. I’ve often eaten at Jim’s, and pickup trucks always outnumber sedans.

Sign number two. Good Texas barbecue joints usually shun paper napkins in favor of big rolls of paper towels. If you walk into a Texas barbecue restaurant and see industrial rolls of brown paper towels on the tables, you can be sure you’ll eat some good Texas barbecue.

Sign number three. Good Texas barbecue restaurants always offer these three side dishes: baked beans, potato salad, and coleslaw. Texans have never understood the principle of the leafy green vegetable, and you should be suspicious of any barbecue restaurant that offers broccoli, brussels sprouts, or arugula lettuce salads. Too many vegetables is a sign that the restauranteur is conflicted about being in the barbecue business.

Good Texas barbecue restaurants share another common feature. Generally, they serve their customers sweet, iced tea in jumbo-sized plastic glasses— 20 ounces or more. In addition, the server comes by every five minutes and refills the glasses. When you’ve eaten at a good Texas restaurant, you will be satisfied with the food and well-hydrated because you drank two or more quarts of sweet iced tea.

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Image credit: Houston Food Finder

90 seconds Movie Review: Daddio is a stinker

Saturday night in rural Mississippi and nothing to do. Fortunately, my spotty Internet service is working, and I can rent a movie on amazon.com.

I select Daddio, a new Amazon offering starring Sean Penn and Dakota Johnson. I can rent the movie for six bucks. How bad can it be?

Pretty bad as it turned out. First of all, the entire movie is set in a New York City cab. I kept waiting for Sean and Dakota to get out of the cab and do something interesting, but they never did.

Instead, Sean Penn’s character turns out to be a rustic Freudian psychoanalyst posing as a nosy cab driver. Dakota Johnson plays a stunningly beautiful computer programmer living in midtown Manhattan. As the tedious story unfolds, she reveals herself to be a troubled woman scarred by her dysfunctional childhood back in western Oklahoma. Dakota lost her Oklahoma twang but never shook the anguish of growing up without her father.  

Throughout this excruciatingly long movie, Sean probes Dakota’s hidden anguish with his gritty cab driver's intuition. By the end of the movie, Dakota realizes why she is in an abusive relationship with an older married man.

That’s the whole movie. Before renting this sad sack drama, consider that you are only on this earth for a brief period of time. Do you want to waste part of your precious life watching Sean Penn practice psychiatry without a license?

Gasoline Prices Are Too Low: Get Ready For a Post-Election Shock

 Americans are worried about inflation. The cost of just about everything--food, cars, property insurance, etc--has gone up under the Biden administration. The President's critics blame him for high prices--including the cost of gasoline.

Gas prices, however, are pretty low. I bought gasoline yesterday in Baton Rouge, and it only cost me $2.60 a gallon to fill my tank. That's pretty damn cheap!

Remember the Arab oil embargo of 1973, when gas prices shot up? The average cost of gas that year was 39 cents a gallon. The present value of that 39 cents is $2.59 —almost exactly what I paid yesterday.

For a brief time in 1973, gasoline prices rose to one dollar a gallon, sending trepidations of doom across the entire United States. What is the value of that 1973 dollar today? It's more than $7.00. Except for a few places in California, Americans aren't paying anywhere near $7.00 for gasoline.

In other words, Americans are paying less for gasoline than they did under the 1973 Arab oil embargo, which is curious. After all, the Biden administration has actively discouraged oil exploration in the United States. One might think Biden's policies would hurt the price of gasoline, but they haven't.

In addition, international tensions in the major oil-producing countries haven't affected the gas price for our cars. Uncle Sam and NATO embargoed Russian oil because Russia invaded Ukraine, but that tactic has largely failed. Surprisingly, the Russian economy is growing despite the embargo, and gasoline is still cheap in this country.

Looking to the Middle East, that region is on fire. The Houthis are doing their best to disrupt the flow of oil tankers through the Red Sea, forcing many shippers to bear additional costs to avoid the Suez Canal. So far, however, Houthi missiles haven't impacted gasoline prices in the U.S.

The Biden-Harris administration keeps gasoline prices down by purchasing oil for the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, which the government admits. Why? Because many Americans are more concerned about the cost of gas than the price of milk.

All this will change after the November presidential election. If Trump wins, gasoline prices will shoot up, and the Democrats will blame him. I'm not sure Trump's policy of 'drill, baby drill' can be implemented quickly enough to depress the price of gas at the pump.

If Harris wins, the Feds will manage to tamp down the price of gasoline for a time, but ultimately. their bureaucratic machinations will fail. In short, gas prices will soon increase dramatically, and then we'll see some real inflation.

President Biden: "I don't think much about Vadimir Putin." Americans should ask him how he plans to end the Ukraine war.

 Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is pressuring the U.S. and NATO to supply his country with Western-manufactured missiles that can strike deep inside Russia. Russian President Vladimir Putin has repeatedly warned the West not to give Ukraine these weapons. Putin has said plainly that the Western allies will be at war with Russia if they allow Ukraine to use NATO-supplied long-range missiles to attack his country.

Some NATO nations seem to think Russia is bluffing. Political leaders in Canada and Great Britain want to grant Zelenskyy's request and send long-range missiles to Ukraine. The Dutch and the Czechs have also signaled their support for sending Zelenskyy the missiles he demands.

President Biden isn't on board yet. A few days ago, he confessed, "I don't think much about President Putin." I suppose he's distracted by more important issues than nuclear war.

Americans, however, should think a lot about President Putin and Russia. We should ask ourselves what our country's response would be if Iran used Russian long-range missiles to wipe out American military bases in the Middle East. Wouldn't we consider such an attack an act of war by the Russians?

Uncle Sam is already neck-deep in the planet's most significant military conflict since World War II. Ukraine could not have inflicted such heavy casualties on the Russian army and navy without American weapons, American technology, and American military support.

Millions of Russians and Ukrainians have died or been wounded in this senseless war, and millions more are refugees. President Biden admits that he doesn't think much about Vladimir Putin. Maybe it's time for Americans to ask Mr. Biden what the hell we're doing in Ukraine and how he plans to bring this tragic conflict to an end.

The politics of joy?

90 Seconds Movie Review: Winchester '73 is the Perfect Western Movie (Rock Hudson Plays a Native American War Chief)

In one of his most famous tunes, David Allan Coe listed the five essential themes for a perfect country and western song: trucks, trains, mama, prison, and getting drunk.

What themes are necessary for a perfect Western movie? A heroic cowboy, a thick-headed sidekick,  bloodthirsty Native Americans, a virtuous damsel in distress, and a villain wearing a black cowboy hat.

By this definition, 'Winchester '73' is the perfect Western movie.  Jimmy Stewart embodies the heroic cowboy with his usual "ah shucks" charm. Millard Mitchell, known as High Spade, is Stewart's trusty but slow-witted sidekick. Shelley Winters is perfectly cast as the virtuous damsel in distress, and black-hatted Stephen McNally appears as the hardhearted villain. Combined with the unique plot (built around a clinical obsession with a Winchester rifle), these elements make 'Winchester '73' a must-watch for any Western movie fan. 

Who plays the part of the vengeful Native American?  To my delighted surprise, Rock Hudson, adorned in warpaint, shows up as Young Bull, the laconic war chief of a Plains Indian tribe.

What's not to like? Indeed, 'Winchester '73' is not just a personal favorite but also ranks seventh on a list of top 20 Western movies of all time. Rotten Tomatoes, a trusted review aggregator, gives the movie a 100 percent rating based on 28 reviews, further solidifying its status as a classic Western movie.

If you don't like Western movies, don't watch "Winchester '73." If you like them, this Jimmy Stewart classic is the movie for you.

I will close with this short reflection. Seeing Rock Hudson in warpaint illustrates Woody Allen's famous line: "Eighty percent of success is showing up."

I doubt Rock was thrilled about dressing out as a Native American, but he showed up anyway. In his wildest fantasy, I'm sure he never envisioned himself being cast as Elizabeth Taylor's husband in "Giant," another classic Western movie.

Rock Hudson as Young Bull: Just showing up

WalletHub's bullshit study ranks Massachusetts as the best state to live in

WalletHub published a bullshit study ranking Massachusetts as the best state to live in and Louisiana as the worst. I've lived in both states, and I can assure you that WalletHub got the story all wrong.

Massachusetts is not the best state to live in--it's the worst. Housing costs and taxes are high, and its citizens have a depressing tendency to elect idiots to public office. 

Elizabeth Warren, for example, is a native Oklahoman who couldn't get elected dogcatcher in her native state.  She landed a cushy job at Harvard Law School by claiming to be a Cherokee, and then the Bay State fools elected her to the U.S. Senate.

Louisiana, it is true, also attracts idiots to public office, but we don't take them seriously. We would never indulge in the fantasy that Elizabeth Warren is a viable presidential candidate. 

WalletHub ranked Louisiana as the worst state to live in; in fact, it's one of the best.  Let's look at cuisine. Massachusetts boasts of Boston baked beans, Yankee pot roast, and clam strips--vile dishes all.

In Louisiana, you can dine on jambalaya, boudin, crawfish etouffee, chicken-and-sausage gumbo, fried catfish, shrimp po'boys, Natchitoches meat pies, beignets, red beans and rice, and banana foster.

How about the people? I found most Massachusetts residents to be arrogant, mean-spirited, and provincial. There's a reason other New Englanders call them Massholes.

On the other hand, Louisianans are known the world over for their friendliness and hospitality. Its culture is so life-affirming and genial that some people say Louisiana is the only place where you can leave the United States without a passport. 

Sports and recreation? Who'd you rather root for--the New Orleans Saints or those friggin' New England Patriots? As for college football, Louisianaians have the LSU Tigers. Does Harvard even have a football team?

WalletHub also misanalyzed some other beautiful states. It ranked Texas as the 36th best place to live and Mississippi as one of the five worst states.

Space does not permit me to give these two states the robust defense they deserve. Thus, I will end this essay with just three questions: Which state has the best barbecue—Massachusetts or Texas? Which state is most friendly to deer hunting with dogs—Massachusetts or Mississippi?

Finally, which state has the worst regional accent? Massachusetts, of course. Actually, this was a trick question. People in Louisiana, Texas, and Mississippi don't speak with an accent.

Boston in winter: Is this the best state to live in?